I procrastinated for an entire year before making content again. I thought I was lazy. Turns out I was just scared. I envied people who could show up every day with ease, like it was nothing, and I kept beating myself up for not being able to do the same.
But then I realized it wasn't a work ethic problem. I was working hard on plenty of other things, just not the one that required me to show up with my name and face attached to it. That's when it hit me. This wasn't laziness. It was fear, plain and simple. I was afraid people wouldn't like what I made, and too afraid to even admit it.
The first time, I set the bar on the floor
Seven years ago, I decided to finally make content for the first time. I started a podcast and YouTube channel called Brand Origins. It was my first time recording a podcast and my first time showing up on camera. As a shy introvert, this was my nightmare, showing my face for thousands of people to judge.
But I remember how I got myself to do it. I told myself I only had one goal. Not to make great work, not to go viral, not to rack up views. Just to MAKE something.
It didn't matter if no one watched. My job was just to create one episode after another and improve along the way. For now, the goal was just to get started. Because the bar was so low, just create one episode, showing up felt doable. So I became consistent, and over time Brand Origins grew into something real. People were actually listening to the podcast and watching the videos.
Coming back is harder than starting
Then, at some point, I had to stop. Life happened, some plans got put on hold, and I stepped away from making content for a while. But the stars aligned again, giving me a shot to make content once more. And for some reason, I couldn't get myself to start.
Because coming back after building something real is different than starting from zero. Somewhere along the way, I'd built up an expectation that everything I make now has to be great. The worst part is, I don't even think anyone expects that from me. It's just my self-esteem, my insecurities, and negative self-talk putting that imaginary pressure on myself.
And when you strip it all down, it's just fear. Fear of looking like I don't know what I'm doing. Fear of making mistakes. Fear of judgment.
Perfectionism is just fear in high heels
Fear can be deceiving too. It often hides as perfectionism. "I need this to be perfect," we tell ourselves. But remember what Elizabeth Gilbert said: "Perfectionism is just fear in high heels."
That fear is exactly why it took me so long to create again. I just needed to remember what I already knew: sit down, start typing, do the work, and most importantly, NOT WORRY ABOUT THE OUTCOME.
So if you're stuck staring at a blank page, you're not lazy. You're scared. And that's okay. We all are. I'm scared publishing this too, but writing it down already made it feel less scary. Maybe that's the whole trick. Accept that you're scared, and do it anyway.
The takeaway: start before you feel ready. The fear never fully goes away, you just stop waiting for it to.